So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
