OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
