Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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