did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
