I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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