john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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