JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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