He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
