Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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