dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
