bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
