Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
