Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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