ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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