So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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