I don't think brook has ever known best
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
