To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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