Tell her she can't have a vagina
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
