it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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