so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
