Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
