Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
