my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
