he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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