i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
