The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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