sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
