I hate your face
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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