Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
