so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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