mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
