you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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