Nicole vs. Life
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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