You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
