I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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