her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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