90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
