I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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