ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
