Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
