May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I looked at my own cervix.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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