is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
