Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
