"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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