nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
