Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
