First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need water and some morals
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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