I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
