The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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