Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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