im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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