that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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