But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
