I'm going to jail i love you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
