But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
