If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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