i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im holly from the hills drunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
