Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
