Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
